Gun Control: An Erotic Political Fanfiction
by SpaceOpera
Summary: Rick Santorum x Elizabeth Warren; Parody of Fifty Shades of Grey. Senator Booker has introduced a controversial gun control bill which has the Senate split down party lines. With no choice left, Senator Rick Santorum makes the deal of a lifetime with Senator Elizabeth Warren in order to save the Second Amendment.
1. The Bill

Rick Santorum nervously walked, clipboard and pen in hand, to Elizabeth Warren's office. He always tried to be as masculine and hawkish as possible around people in his own party, but when it came to Senator Warren, that manly facade just fell apart. Like the Soviet Union in 1991, Senator Santorum's masculinity just _collapsed_ when he was around her. Yes, there was just something about Senator Warren that always made him weak in the knees. " _You can do it, Rick_ ," he said to himself. " _You're just asking her a question, that's all_."

As soon as he opened the door, he tripped, fell to the floor, and dropped his pen. He looked up and saw Senator Warren, and his heart stopped. Her beautiful blue eyes and (slightly graying) blonde hair made him melt. Sweat dripped down his face as he saw how Warren's suit framed her body, accentuating her voluptuous curves. Still starstruck, he managed to stammer a few words as he stood back up.

"H-h-hello, Senator Warren. Good a-afternoon."

She chuckled. "Good afternoon, Senator Santorum. What can I do for you?"

"Well...uh, I was wondering if I could, uh, get your support in voting against the, uhm, gun control bill that Senator Booker proposed."

Senator Warren eyed the (relatively) young senator standing before her, up and down. She zeroed in on the large bulge in his pants. She had, of course, heard the stories about Rick Santorum. She had heard from Nancy Pelosi about Rick Santorum's incredible stamina in the bedroom. She heard all the rumors from all the female Congresswomen about the size of the weapon Rick Santorum was packing in his pants. And she wanted this more than ever these days, because like a North Korean rocket, Senator Warren's husband just couldn't get it up. Senator Warren licked her lips. Rick Santorum had a weapon of mass destruction in his pants, and Senator Warren wanted arms control.

Senator Warren answered his question with another question. "How's Mrs. Santorum doing?" she asked curiously.

The question took him by surprise. "Uh, er, she-she's doing fine," he said. "W-we've been fighting quite a bit lately, though, and we're not on the best of terms right now. W-why do you ask?"

She thought for a moment. "Hmm...how about this?" she said with a wicked smile. "Come to my office later at 9pm, when all the other congressmen have gone home for the night. We'll talk about this gun control bill then."

She winked at him. He loosened his collar and sweat nervously. He knew the game she was playing at, and he wasn't sure what to do. Yet at the same time, he couldn't pass up the chance. He looked back at her again. She was like a socialist Aphrodite to his lovestruck eyes. And he wanted to spread his wealth _all over her_. With a body like that, how could Rick Santorum pass up the chance?

"Um, ok, uh, yes, I-I'll be there," he said sheepishly. "See you later tonight then, Senator Warren."

"Please," she said. "Call me Elizabeth."

He went into the elevator.

"Rick." She said.

"Elizabeth" he said.

The elevator doors closed.


	2. The Proposal

As he promised, he came to her office again that night. Standing before the door, he took a deep breath. _"You can do it, Rick,"_ he said to himself. _"The fate of the Second Amendment and the Republican Party rests in your hands."_ He knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Elizabeth asked.

"It's me, Rick."

"Ooh, hello there, Rick~," she said flirtatiously. "Come in."

He walked into the door and Elizabeth sat down at her desk. He sat in the chair across from her. "Let's talk about that vote, then," Rick said sternly.

Elizabeth frowned and said, "Don't be so dour. Here, have a drink." She poured him a glass of red wine, and he took a drink. He calmed down slightly. She continued, "But fine, Rick. I guess we can cut to the chase here. This is a short story after all, not a novel."

"So what's the plan then?" Rick asked.

Elizabeth smiled. "Well here's my proposition. You don't need to play coy with me, Rick. I know you're the best lover in Congress. I've fooled around with a lot of Congressmen in my day, and they're all packing small handguns. I know you, on the other hand, have a nuclear warhead hiding in your loins. So here's what we're gonna do, Rick: You're going to give me the best time of my life, and in exchange, I'll vote against Senator Booker's gun control proposal.

Rick said, deadpan: "So you want me to make love to you."

Elizabeth frowned. "I don't 'make love', Rick. I **fuck** _ **.**_ "

Rick thought about this situation for a moment. He needed this vote. Badly. Like a pizza pie with one half cheese and one half pepperoni, The Senate was perfectly divided into two halves on this gun control bill. All he needed to defeat Senator Booker was just one vote: Elizabeth Warren's. Every other senator had their minds made up. And to do it, all Rick had to do was screw the hottest liberal MILF in Congress. But what would his fellow conservatives think of this bipartisan fuckery?

"Fine," Rick said. "But no one can know about this. It's just between you and me."

She smiled. "Of course," she promised. "My lips are sealed."

"Very well," Rick said with a deep breath. "Let's start, then."

"I should warn you, though," Elizabeth added. "My desires are rather…unconventional."

"Show me," Rick said.

Elizabeth led Rick to a door in the back of her office.

She continued, "If you don't like what you see, you're welcome to back out of our deal."

"How bad could it possibly be?" Rick said.

Rick would find out exactly how bad.


	3. The Horizontal Tango

There was a bed in the center of the room, but what caught Rick's eye was that the room was also filled to brim with sadistic accessories. Belts, whips, chains, they were all there.

"What the hell is all this?" Rick asked, shocked.

"It's exactly what it looks like. I'm going to broaden your horizons a bit. I'm going to be the dominant, and you're going to be the submissive. I'm gonna control that gun of yours."

"I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with this!" Rick said, exasperated.

Elizabeth looked away. "Alright…" she said, gloomily. "I guess I'll just vote in favor of Senator Booker's bill then..."

Rick grumbled. "Fine. I'll do it," he said. He looked up proudly. "For the preservation and sanctity of the Second Amendment."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. Prideful monologues were a turn off. "Yeah, yeah, yeah…just lie down on the bed, Rick."

Rick sat down. Elizabeth pulled a blindfold out of a drawer and covered his eyes. Like the GOP when it comes to pretty much all social issues, Rick was completely blind. She unbuttoned his shirt and took it off of him. She undid his belt and took off his pants, revealing his conservative custard cannon. She smiled. The rumors were true.

Elizabeth Warren took Rick's arms and tied them to the posts of the bed. She pulled out a whip from the drawer. Elizabeth climbed atop Rick's massive freedom stick. She let out a moan as his gun slid into her holster. Up and down, she thrusted on top of him.

"Oh Elizabeth, this feels fantastic," he moaned.

SMACK! As Elizabeth continued to thrust, she whipped his sides and chest. SMACK!

"Ow!" He moaned. Yet, he felt a strange pleasure in the pain. Like a boxer who agrees to lose a fight for a bribe, he wanted a beating.

"Oh, oh, Elizabeth, I'm reaching my limit," he moaned.

And then just like the Challenger Space Shuttle in 1986, Rick _exploded_ , filling in the inside of Elizabeth with his love slime.

Rick started breathing deeply, trying to catch his breath.

"Ah, Elizabeth, that was incredible," Rick said, as she untied the ropes on his arms. "So I guess I'll be going then."

"Not just yet," Elizabeth said, pushing him face down onto the bed.


	4. The End

She tied his arms to the bedposts once more. She took a tie from her drawer and gagged him with it.

"Mmph! Mmph!" he said, struggling to form the phrase: "Elizabeth, what the fuck are you doing?"

Elizabeth correctly guessed what he was trying to say, and she replied, "All I said was that you were going to give me the time of my life. I'm not finished just yet." She smiled. "If you're unhappy, you should've bargained for stricter terms."

Elizabeth opened another drawer and pulled out a purple strap-on dildo.

Rick panicked as he saw her putting on the strap-on. "Mph! Mph!" he screamed in panic, which translated roughly to "Oh my god! Please! No!" But this time, Elizabeth ignored his plea. She spread Rick's buttcheeks wide and penetrated him dry. He screamed out in pain. "MMPH!" She thrusted and thrusted with a steady rhythm. Tears streamed down his face, not so much from the pain but from the feeling of his manhood being compromised. The last beacon of hope in the GOP against the radical gay agenda, the savior for traditional marriage in America...was currently being buttfucked by a female senator wearing a strap-on.

But suddenly, the tears stopped, although Elizabeth kept on thrusting. Rick was confused. What was this that he was feeling? It was...pleasure. Yes, Rick began to realize he was enjoying himself. Yes! Yes! The pain was exquisite; this was the most pleasurable sexual experience he had ever had.

"Mmph~, mmph~" he moaned gladly through the gag.

"I knew you would change your tune, Rick," she said happily. "See how wonderful this is?"

She began to whip him again as well. "Mmph~, mmph~" he continued to moan with enjoyment. Yes, the more pain the better for Rick. This was the best night of his life.

In the morning, the Senate had its vote for Senator Cory Booker's gun control vote. The Democrats were shocked to see Senator Warren side with the republicans and vote against the bill. Elizabeth kept her word to Rick, and the bill was defeated.

After that night, Rick thought long and hard about his life…as long and hard as the purple dildo that penetrated him. That fateful night fundamentally changed Rick Santorum forever. It opened not only his asshole, but his mind as well. He ceased to become a homophobic bigot, and he instead became a voice for homosexual rights. He withdrew his support for the Defense of Marriage Act, and with his support, a bill was passed in Pennsylvania to fully legalize gay marriage in the state.

And now, every Thursday night, Rick lies to his wife and says he has to work overtime on congressional paperwork. But what does he do instead? He spends the night with Elizabeth Warren, repeating that wonderful night over and over again.

The end.


End file.
